Hilarious side stories, for firefizzy fans!
by firefizzy
Summary: Okay, this is just a bunch of funny crap I think up randomly. Please enjoy!
1. Homo lady friend

**This is just random crap. Funny little side stories STILL with Kaede and Midori, Hope you enjoy! **

Family:

Author's Note: I was wondering last night what Midori would be to Kyoya since Kyoya is mother. Also, what would happen with Kaede in the family. Is she a sibling? A neighbor? Random chick who stole Kaoru's heart? This little skit kinda answers this stuff in a light, happy, HILARIOUS way.

Setting: Just sittin around Kyoya's place playing... MONOPOLY!

Haruhi lands on community chest. She pulls a card and reads it allowed.

"Pay bank 100$" She read aloud. Her eyes dropped, becoming even more depressing looking.

"Aww, poor Haruhi." The twins said together, crawling closer.

"We can make it AAALLL better." They say, leaning closer to her.

"MOTHER! Hikaru and Kaoru are sexually harassing their sister, Haruhi!" Tamaki whined, tugging on Kyoya's jacket. He rolls his eyes.

"Would you PLEASE stop referring to me as your wife!" He asks. Tamaki lets go, and sits to the side, balled up in a little bundle of Tamaki.

"I was wondering, how does this whole family thing work?" Kaede asks.

"I'm the mother, and wife of Tamaki." Kyoya says, sighing at the cruel fact.

"You and I are siblings, I suppose." Haruhi says.

"And we are your dear brothers." The twins say.

"So we're dating, and are still brother and sister?" Kaede asks.

"Remember, Tamaki and I managed to have four children, both being seventeen year old males.'' Kyoya says in a sarcastic tone. I chuckle, laughing at the ridiculous situation.

"What about Honey and Mori?" Kaede asks.

"We're the neighbors." Honey smiles, climbing up onto Mori.

"What about me?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" Kaede asks.

"Well, If Kyoya is "married" to Tamaki as the wife, then what does that make me, his girlfriend?" I explain. Kyoya breaks into a large grin.

"Now that is a good question." He says.

"You, are Kyoya's homo lady friend." Hikaru giggled. Kaoru and Kaede begin to laugh as well.

Even Kyoya begins to laugh. I smile.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes, homo lady friend." The twins sputter, choking on laughter.

"Yeah, yea, ya!" I say, making my move.

**I don't care if you didn't think it to be funny, but I just HAD to write it. **


	2. A Comfy Midori

**So lots of my friends keep telling me that I'm cuddly to lean on and stuff. So I was thinking of putting that into my character, Midori. I hope you enjoy and LOL! **

The host club was spending a regular rainy day at Tamaki's house. Everyone was watching tv, Tamaki whining for everyone to begin playing a game, the twins harassing him, and everyone else nodding in shame for the trio.

Midori lies on the fuzzy carpet fast asleep. Kaede lying on her back against . The twins look over, wondering where she went, so they may challenge her in a video game.

"Kaede! What are you doing?" They ask, walking over to her.

"Midori is comfortable." Kaede answers, snuggling into her back.

"Really?" Hikaru asks.

"Yeah, shes not fat or anything, in fact, her spine is kinda boney." Kaoru adds.

"Well, you try! Shes like a pillow, even though she's not fat." Kaede says. The twins come closer, they both lean against her back, Kaoru snuggling up to Kaede.

"ARE YOU TWO RAPING YOUR DARLING..." Tamaki began.

"I believe she is my Homo lady friend." Kyoya says sarcastically.

"MOTHER'S HOMO LADY FRIEND?" He continued to yell, running over to them. Kyoya frowns.

"Shhhhhh!" Kaede says, putting a finger on her lips in annoyance.

"We're trying to sleep." Kaoru says matter a-factly.

"ON MIDORI?" Tamaki gasps.

"Yes, she's SOOO comfy." Hikaru explains.

"Really?" Kyoya asks, coming up behind them, one eyebrow raised. They all jump in surprise.

"Eh? Why would you care? Shes our pillow!" The three say together.

"Really? Well, she happens to be MY girlfriend." Kyoya chuckles.

"What? Are you going to use her as a pillow too?" Tamaki asks.

"That wouldn't happen! Hes Kyoya!" They whisper. Kyoya rolls his eyes, getting onto the floor and laying his head on her waist, his body tilted so his back touches her legs. He closes his eyes in content.

"Hmmm. You were right, she IS comfy." He sighs. By this time, Mori and Honey were there, wondering how this could be possible. Tamaki quickly rushes to the small space left of her back and lies down, Honey taking her shoulder and arm next to Kyoya. Mori lays himself down on her legs.

"Surprisingly, this isn't awkward at all." Kaede sighs.

"Yeah." The others agree. Soon they all fall asleep, due to Midori's pillow like body. None of them waking till the morning.

~~~Next Day~~~

Midori opens her eyes, looking out the window, realizing that she had slept there over night. She looks around her, and finally sees everyone huddled around her. She freezes, suddenly feeling all their heavy heads on her body.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Midori screams, everyone wakes up, startled at her shrill voice. Midori pushes them off roughly, causing them to hit their heads on the floor.

"What were you doing?" She asks, still yelling in shock.

"You're just sooo comfy!" They all yell together.

"What?" She says, not totally understanding their logic.

"And that makes it okay to practically MOLEST me?" She yells.

"Kaede started it!" The twins say, pointing at her.

"Thanks for the support!" Kaede says sarcastically.

"Yeah, but she is MY FRIEND and she was lying on my BACK!"

"We're sorry, now just come back so we can go back to sleep." The twins say, getting up.

"Did you understand ANYTHING that I just said?" Midori asks.

"PLEASE BE OUR PILLOW!" They cry, getting up.

"Stay away from me!" Midori warns, backing up.

"PILLOW!" They scream, chasing her down the hall.

"STAY AWAY FROM MEEEEE!" She yells back.

**Me: so? how'd ya like it?**

**Kaede: You are comfy though.**

**Me: Shuddup.**

**Twins: If only we could actually test that out.**

**Me: Stay away from me, or I'll sue. Haruhi! Suitcase ready?**

**Haruhi: Hai! *hand in salut.**

**Kyoya: well, thanks for reading everyone! **


	3. Switching Places: The Unbearable Truth

**Another HILARIOUS story, a little more in depth tho, not so much of a mini story, might even have two parts, based off of a concept by bisco hatori and all the other story plot ppls, written by me, enjoy!**

AN part 2: yeah, i'mma weird but, what the hell? we're all weird! So, basically this is the dreaded TAMAKI AND KYOYA SWITCHING PLACES! I know I know, It totally blows your mind! Well, since I am an intense Kyoya fan, when I read that part, I almost cried. ALMOST being the opperative word. So I was thinking the other day that it would be an interesting story for people to watch me/Midori break down entirely, much like Tamaki does all the time.

AN part 3: yeah yea ya, I know, getting annoying. So, here, the couples are ALL the same as in others I have written, so...

Tamaki~Haruhi

Kyoya~Midori

Mori~Single

Hikaru~No one, hes a sad lOOOOOOser! sorry if you're a Hikaru fan, its just da truth.

Kaoru~Kaede

Honey~Single

oh, and also, this is with EVERYONE being rich, except for haruhi. Midori and Kaede live together because they're sisters.

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Its a regular day at the host club, full of cosplay, and flirty girls, thought the three girls as they walked up to the third music room where they opened the door. But when they looked in, it was dark, Mori swept them up, placing them in seats at the back of the room. They heard the door slam shut, a light turned on, shining on their surprised faces.

"Whats going on?" Kaede asks.

"Yeah, what the hell is happening?" Midori says.

"A terrible thing has happened to this host club." The twins say, nodding their heads slowly.

"Wait, did Tamaki die? If thats it then..." Midori begins, but is cut off by Honey's hand.

"SHHH!" Everyone says, putting a finger over their mouths.

"What?" She asks.

"Okay, thats enough." A surprisingly calm Tamaki says.

"You guys should know that, Tamaki and I, Kyoya, switched bodies mysteriously last night." The voice says solemnly.

"What?" Kaede and Haruhi say together.

"How can this be? What are you going to do?" Midori yells in confusion.

"I'm sorry, Midori. But I don't know if we can do anything." He says.

"Where's Tamaki?" Haruhi asks. The twins point to Kyoya's body huddled up in the corner, whimpering and crying.

"Hes been doing that since he found out what happened." Kyoya (The names coordinate with the brains. So Kyoya looks like Tamaki, and Tamaki looks like Kyoya.) says.

Midori's face contorts into one of anger and sadness, and many other emotions, she never could feel before.

"TAMAKI! DON"T USE KYOYA'S BODY TO DO YOUR DEPRESSION POSITION!" She yells, trying to get him up off the ground. But all her pulling and pushing couldn't budge the saddened king. She puts her hand up, to strike him, but can't bring herself to mark Kyoya's perfect body.

"I've been trying to stop him myself, but, he won't listen." Kyoya grumbles.

"Gah! I can't even look at you, in that sad, pathetic, embarrassing position." Midori sighs, turning around. Kyoya comes up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and squeezing them.

"I'm sorry this is upsetting you." he says. Midori tries to smile, and walks out the room to the small courtyard. Kyoya sighs.

"Just leave her alone, ya might just make things worse." Kaede says.

"I know." He answers.

"Don't we all?" Haruhi adds.

~~~AT MIDORI'S HOUSE~~~

Midori sits on her large queen sized bed, leaning against her many green and purply-pink pillows, reading a book, a pair of large silver earphones over her head. The rest of her room mostly green and neutral colors. Kaede peaks in, Kyoya standing not to far away.

_She's obviously still down about it. Maybe I shouldn't have let Kyoya come so soon. _As if reading her mind Kyoya whispered, "Don't worry, I can handle her." Tamaki's features in a firm line, looking calm and determined.

"Alright then, Kyoya. But be careful. For both of your sakes." Kaede warns sternly, then walks briskly back into her own room across the hallway.

Kyoya takes a deep breath, readying himself in case she decides to blow up. She did have a tendency to do that, and when she did, it was even worse than his overlord power.

He opens it slowly, walking in to see her calmly lying against her pillows, reading, then he spots the earphones, finally seeing the reason for her to stay so still, as if he wasn't even there. He walks over slowly, his bare feet gliding across the floor soundlessly.

*Rule #1 in their house: NO SHOES!*

He stands for a second, cherishing her rare blank face. The way she looks so, normal and calm. He bends down, onto the bed leaning in to kiss her cheek, his lips touching her lightly.

She sighs, removing her earphones, to face him. Kyoya takes a seat on the end of the bed. Looking at her straight on, as if to challenge her. Her eyes bearing down into his, a frown appearing on her face.

"What are you doing here?" She finally asks with another sigh, leaning forward to lie on her stomach and continuing to read. He moves in closer to her, now on his stomach as well to whisper into her ear,

"Just wondering if you're alright. You know, everyone's worried, Including me." He said quietly, his voice smooth as butter, making her shiver excitedly despite her bad mood.

He begins to kiss her ear, and neck, his lips touching her bare skin lightly. He smiles, knowing that she can't resist it. He's right.

"You know, its not fair, that you know every weakpoint I have." She whispers, turning over on her back. He continues to peck at her skin. He smiles.

"You know a couple of my weakpoints." He mutters between kisses.

"Not really, just that you love to cuddle and like me to massage your shoulders." She argues, slipping her lips under his, her arm going up around his neck.

"Well, there are only a couple others for you to find." He chuckles, it's a fun game they liked to play, trying to find the other's weakest points. Luckily, she has many, and most of them have been of great use to him.

"Hmmmm. Yes." She answers, moving up behind him.

She removes his school jacket and tie, so that he only had a thin shirt. She then rubbed her hands together, diving into his shoulder muscles. He groans in pleasure, Midori's hands releasing all the stress he'd built up over all his scheming.

"You still have the same weaknesses even..." She begins, not able to finish the horrid sentence.

"With Tamaki's body?" He finishes, arching into her touch.

"Yeah." She whispers. Midori stops and moves away from Kyoya. Then, looking back at him she says, "It's not that I'm superficial. But I love everything about _you_, including your voice, your eyes, the way you smile when you think no one is noticing. And this is just so weird to me. I still love you of course, and I'll stand by you. But you have to forgive me when I say it'll take a while for me to really look at you the same way."

"I know."


End file.
